The Issues: Immigration

So what's the deal with this immigration issue everyone seems so up in arms about? Nobody can agree on what to do. Here's the solution:

1) Lock down the borders temporarily

In a fair world, we'd be doing the same thing to the northern border as we will do to the southern, but the reality of the situation is...we don't have 20 million French-Canadians running around illegally in our country. Instead, it seems our Canuck's to the north love their liberal utopia a little too much to want to abandon all those keen social programs (more on this in a minute). Mexicans (they are from Mexico, by and large, therefore they are Mexicans. This is not a racist word when describing people from Mexico no matter how many ACLU lawyers tell you it is) are abandoning their home country like teens to a cornfield during a M.I.P bust. I saw a statistic that said 10% of Mexico's population now lives in the U.S. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. If Mexicans want to immigrate to America, by all means, let them come.

The problem is the whole "illegal alien" thingamabob. Let's all agree that these people are breaking the law. Nobody in their right mind can deny that fact. Instead, the argument becomes "well they are breaking the law but we can make an exception because of x,y,z" We'll deal with these reasons later on. But if we truly want to put a sudden halt on illegal immigration while we get our shit in order, we're going to need to lock down the borders immediately.

I recommend doing this by posting the National Guard (after all, the name says it all) along the border with Mexico and creating a temporary suspension of all new immigrants from Mexico. Is this racist? No, I don't think so. As I've said, I think any Mexican who wants to come to this country is more than happy to do so, but the only way to control illegal immigration is to freeze everything we're doing and take some "drastic" measures for a short period of time (could we do this in 2 years?) in order to revamp our immigration system. Understandably, the National Guard won't be able to cover every mile of the border, but imagine having 160,000 troops along the border instead of in Iraq. What Bush sent was ridiculous and laughable. Take our National Guard troops and give them this mission: protect the border from any incoming Mexicans and search and destroy all the tunnels you can find that are used for smuggling, drug running, etc. Any illegal immigrant caught by the Guard has their picture taken, fingerprints recorded, and interrogated before beings sent back. This is not denying any Mexican their "rights" either. This is simple, basic information that will be needed the next time they come back...and they will come back. We're not setting up a new Guantanamo here, just getting some prints and photos. This information will be used to put these immigrants to the back of the line. They'll still be able to get in eventually, but their penalty will be a long wait.

Imagine the drop in illegal immigration just by having troops on the border. They won't be able to catch them all, but they'll make someone think twice about crossing. Now, temporarily, we've put a band aid on the bleeding, allowing us to get some breathing room to think out some more things...

2) Come to the sober realization that we can't deport 20 million (or more) people

This is the hardest thing for people to accept. Yes we have millions of people living here illegally. Yes it's against the law and we are a "Nation of Laws" (just ask Scooter Libby), therefore we should have no sympathy for these obvious miscreants. This is where American sympathy should come into full force.

I propose to use President Bush and Scooter Libby as an example: We should commute the sentence of the 20 million illegal immigrants.

I am not advocating a full amnesty/pardon. They have broken the law, and for that they need to do a penance. The biggest problem right now is that each side wants to have it their own way with no concept of compromise. Illegal immigrants refuse to concede they did anything wrong, citizens refuse to think of them in terms of actual people. So here's what we shall do:

Once the borders have been sealed, initiate a nationwide volunteer registration for illegal immigrants with the assurance that they will not be deported nor will their families (the exception to this is anyone found to be a criminal in anything other than simply wanting to make some money to live). The volunteer registration will involve background checks, a history of employers, photos, fingerprinting, etc. Some civil rights activists will claim that this is not legal. It's perfectly fair. It's called compromise! I'm not advocating we deport masses of people. They will still be able to live and work in this country if they voluntarily register their info. They are, after all, criminals in the legal sense. The ACLU will make a fuss about every illegal immigrant needs the representation of a lawyer. Fine, if they can afford one, and if the ACLU has enough kooks to go around, then give them one. But remember, this is voluntary. The government is not putting a gun to anyone's head saying you have to do this.

Businesses need to be involved in this because the days of them hiring known illegal immigrants is just about over. Encourage the businesses to have the immigrants register (registration does not involve citizenship, by the way, and even legal citizens in this country are registered in some way shape or form, so don't give me any of this "persecution" bullshit for a few fingerprints). Offer a one time tax credit to any businesses who get immigrants to register. The more immigrants that register, the more tax credit the businesses get. Any illegal immigrant that voluntarily registers will be allowed to continue at their job (with no penalty to the employer) and be allowed to stay in this country. They will then be required to reach some benchmarks that I will elaborate more on later.

Now, we've got the majority of illegal immigrants (at the very least, a huge amount of them) registered, on file, and content that they aren't going to be deported by our government. So now that the borders are secure and a big chunk of workers are now identified, we can get on with the next phases...

3) Levy humongous fines on businesses caught hiring illegal aliens

This will occur after the registration period is over and the businesses have had their tax credits. This is why it is in the best interest of the businesses to get their immigrants to register, because if they don't, and they are caught, then an insane fine will be levied against them. Let's just throw out an arbitrary $500,000, with the possibility of more depending on the amount of illegals caught working for them. A business is not going to hire someone if it knows the government is ready to make it go the way of the dinosaur. Big companies can probably absorb some major fines before they'll get serious. Wendy's can probably take a few million dollars in losses. Some rinky dink orange grove pickers can't. The moral of the story: don't hire illegal immigrants.

If there are no jobs, there will far less illegal immigration. That's why they are here, after all. This will piss businesses off, and there will be a lot of uproar about this. Then again, the business owners are breaking the law just as much as the illegal immigrants, and in my view, are an even more insidious type of criminal. They exploit for profit. They need a cold hard punch to the balls to make them get serious. If you want the government to leave you alone, don't hire "criminals".

4) Standardize federal laws for illegal immigrants.

We've "commuted" the sentence of deportation for millions of illegal immigrants. Now we must deal with those who did not voluntarily register. We opened our arms and said "let's be friends. Do this for us and we'll do this for you" but you decided to hide behind the ACLU. That's fine. By this time, the American people will be more forgiving. Once they've seen that the government is actually doing something by securing the border and getting millions of illegals to register who they are, public sentiment will then turn on those who have refused.

Instead of manually hunting all of these people down, make it impossible for them to maneuver within society. Federally mandate that non-citizens cannot get credit cards, cannot get government services , cannot be allowed driver's licenses, cannot get bank accounts, and will be instantly deported for any type of transgression, no matter how minor. If an illegal immigrant hits your car and isn't registered, he's deported. If an illegal immigrant is not allowed access to the financial system, coupled with the fact that huge fines and taxes will be levied against any companies found to be harboring illegals in any way, he or she will find no reason to be in this country.

Most importantly, if illegal immigrants are not allowed into the public school system unless they are registered as such, then you eliminate the second main reason illegals come here in the first place. If businesses can't hire illegals, they won't bring their families. These families come for a better education for their children. Eliminate the concept of "free education" for them, and they really won't come.

Once again, this is not racism. This goes for any illegal immigrant. I doesn't matter if it's a bunch of Europeans fleeing socialist utopia, or someone coming over from Mexico. Everyone has the opportunity to stay in this country and continue to work as long as you concede that you have to let the government know who the hell you are. Maybe you're really against giving up your fingerprints. You're more than welcome to head back to Mexico if that's such an inconvenience. If you don't take the generosity we give, then you're saying "come get me and deport me". And sadly, that's what we'll be forced to do.

Hopefully it won't come to that. Hopefully, the incentives that "yeah, you can keep your job, keep your residence, and keep your kids in school" will be enough that most immigrants will comply with little resistance from the ACLU.

5) Create some rules and benchmarks for those who have registered

You have 3 years to get your act together. We've allowed you to stay. Your employer is keeping you at minimum wage. Your kids are in school. You don't need to worry about INS agents raiding your home in the middle of the night. But you are not a citizen.

Neither are your children, for that matter. Personally, I think at least one parent needs to be a legalized American citizen before your child can be considered a citizen. If we enact that law, then that will eliminate illegal immigrants running across the border to have kids and therefore use them as a tool in which to bilk the American taxpayer. Your kids aren't citizens and neither are you. However, you will have ample opportunity to become a legalized citizen. 3 years is plenty of time.

During that time period, you must not be found guilty of any crime. You must show the ability to have maintained a consistent job (tax breaks for the companies who register their illegals, and keep them employed for the full 3 years) for all 3 years. Obviously, stuff will happen, so I'm not advocating you have to work all 1095 days. Maybe a benchmark of averaging 35 hours a week or something will do. Anyway, during this time you will be forced to pay taxes just like any other legal citizen now that you are registered. On the other hand, you will not be required to pay back taxes for however long you lived in this country before registration (which, consequently, will also be an incentive to register in the first place). Again, this is compromise. It might make the average citizen bitter as all hell, but remember, we're trying to give you guys all the opportunity in the world to become full fledged citizens. Besides, you weren't paying taxes before registration, and if it hadn't gone into effect, you wouldn't be paying taxes now. So, I think the average citizen may grind their teeth a little, but the tradeoff is that we at least have a large portion of the population paying taxes where they weren't before. Welcome to America.

During your stay, you will be given an ID card which you'll be able to use for government services etc. This card is only valid for the 3 years from which you were registered and is basically the equivalent to a driver's license but can also be used to gain access to certain government services. Use this to prove who you are. Don't lose it.

During your 3 year period, you will be required to do all the things that a legal immigrant is required to do in order to obtain citizenship in this country and more. Those people trying to become citizens legally are waiting 2 years because of the temporary lock down, and they aren't too happy. Registered illegals will be required to learn at least an ability to understand and speak the English language. This will also be a part of the schooling of children. Nobody is advocating that you must switch languages, but an ability to at least converse in the basics is a necessity. Conversely, public schools will begin to initiate mandatory grade-school spanish classes in the future (first things first). Also, registered illegals will be required to do a set number of community service hours. Community volunteering is important in helping adjust to the new country and more importantly, is a "penalty" with benefits for everyone. Not only will you become more aware of society, but you'll learn things faster, and earn the respect of honest Americans who might otherwise not trust your intentions for being in this country. Community service will be a requirement for all registered illegals.

The consequences for not meeting the above requirements can be no less than deportation unless their are specific and justifiable causes as to why you could not meet the requirements. 3 years is plenty of time to learn a bit of English, get your community service in, and meet any other criteria that is settled upon. If we're letting you off the hook for back taxes, allowing you to use our government services, and helping you in the transition to citizenship, then that's the least you can do for us. If all requirements are met by each family member, full citizenship will be granted, and with it the right to vote.


6) Stop handling the Mexican government with kid gloves

The Mexican government encourages illegal immigration. That cannot be allowed to happen. The government must do everything within its power to put pressure on Mexico. If that involves a temporary embargo on all Mexican goods imported into this country, then so be it. Will that hurt the economy? Yeah, temporarily it would. But America is more than able to compensate with goods from other countries (Asia, I'm looking at you) as a short term solution. Mexico on the other hand would probably face a complete bankruptcy if we pulled out financial support and backing for their economy. Perhaps a temporary suspension of tourism would get their attention. Could we forbid people to travel to Mexico like we do with Cuba? Who is the bigger threat to our country right now, the incompetent Mexican government, or a near dead Fidel Castro? I'm guessing Mexico might cry a little bit when they realize all those thousands of college kids won't be hitting up Cancun over spring break. If that still doesn't get their attention, the fact that they can no longer pawn off their unemployed on our country sure will. With troops on the border, Mexican citizens will be forced to either take a long hard look at their own government, or go somewhere else. I have a feeling it would be the former.

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dang, I could keep going on and on with this, but this post is turning into a novella. I need to sum it up:

Secure the border for real with the National Guard. A mass illegal immigrant registration initiative that allows them to stay in this country for 3 years without threat of deportation, meet benchmarks such as community service, and become citizens. Fine and tax the fuck out of businesses who hire illegal immigrants. Standardize federal laws to disallow any non-registered illegal access to government and financial services. Confront Mexico head on economically and politically and force their hand.

There's your answer to the immigration problem. I'm sure many of you out there will have examples of things that can go wrong with my plan. Understand that illegal immigration can never be completely stamped out. There will always be a segment of the population running around illegally and there will always be businesses willing to take a chance. But to stop the arterial gushing that is currently going on, it's going to take concessions from both sides, citizens and non-citizens. This plan will be labeled "amnesty" by most conservatives, but in all reality, it's not really amnesty. American citizens need to show their tolerance and their ability to care in this situation. Are they here "illegally"? You bet. But most of them are hard-working people just looking for the mythological "American Dream". I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say "Okay, if you voluntarily register, we'll give you some leeway and allow you 3 years to prove to us you mean what you say".

Not everyone will register. But what's the alternative? Right now we have 20+ million not registered. Hell, if you got that total down to a still large 5 million, that would be one hell of a success. I firmly believe that if you show these people you are willing to come to a middle ground, they'll be more than willing to do what it takes to be citizens. A lot of people will be pissed. The people waiting legally in line to be citizens will have to wait a little longer. Life sucks sometimes. Then again, they won't be required to do things like community service when they get into this country.

In a 3 year period, we can drastically cut down illegal immigration. And I'll do that as your president in 2016 :)

Securing the borders and registering illegal immigrants is a necessity if we are to implement social programs such as universal healthcare, which I'll talk about in my next entry on the issues.