Gillian Anderson's inch long erect nipples

Some site called Citizens for Ethics just revealed a listing of the most corrupt members of congress. Sort of interesting if you're into that sort of thing

I didn't see Dragon Wars this evening, instead choosing to watch Closure, the Gillian Anderson revenge flick. God this movie sucks. And Gillian Anderson has very unattractive nipples. My girlfriend said it looked like she had udders. It reminded me of seeing Naomi Watts' crazy long nipples in 21 Grams.

I picked up the 2-disc Death Proof dvd today. It comes with a $5 off coupon for Planet Terror. I suppose I could ask for it as a stocking stuffer (I wouldn't pay for it myself) and give the coupon to my mom so she can save some money.

Now, off to eat some Green Apple Jello

Um...

Hillary Clinton is requiring everyone to have health insurance. This is a terrible idea. Terrible.







Terrible.

USC, FSU, and You

USC just crushed Nebraska tonight. The final score isn't indicative of just how badly they were beaten. Nebraska got a couple touchdowns late in the game after USC put their 8th stringers in the game. The Trojans didn't even bother to throw the ball around, amassing an insane amount of running yards. It actually seemed like they were gaining 30 yards every time they ran the ball. My little sister could have gained 100 yards on Nebraska's defense tonight. Nebraska is blessed by having a weak ass schedule every year because they play in the Big 12 North division. If this team were in any other conference, they wouldn't win 4 games.

Speaking of not winning games, Florida State somehow managed to beat Colorado in another terrible offensive performance, 16-6. Please, somebody tell Drew Weatherford to transfer and can the coaches please make a gameplan around 6'6" Greg Carr? When you have a wide receiver who should be playing basketball, it might be wise to throw him the ball. Especially considering he catches it every time they throw deep. He's got a good vertical, y'know?

Alyssa and I have been making our way through the first season of Six Feet Under. It's a pretty good show. Looking forward to seeing the next few seasons. Speaking of shows, the second season of Dexter starts in 2 weeks. This is a really fine program and something most horror fans will probably love. The only thing that sucks about it is Dexter's annoying ass sister. The actress who plays her sucks and delivers some rotten dialogue on a constant basis. Other than that, the show is marvelous. Check it out.

Game 2 of the Dead Lantern Fantasy Football League starts tomorrow. I'm benching Larry Johnson for Maurice Jones-Drew. Let's hope I actually get some running back and wide receiver production this week.

Off to sleep.

Random musings...

I just saw a poll that shows Al Franken within 5 percentage points of Norm Coleman. Franken is running for Coleman's Minnesota Senate seat next year. Can you imagine Al Franken in the Senate? I mean, seriously? One thing is for sure, he would make C-Span much more interesting. In a way, I'm really hoping he pulls it off and wins just to watch the loon show that will no doubt be the United States Senate (as if it weren't already). I also just read some info stating that the reason Hillary has such a lead on Obama in all the polls is because Democrats simply think she has the best shot to beat whoever the Republican nominee is. The sad thing? That's true. She's the only one of the frontrunner's that has any semblance of what the electorate defines as "experience" and she has that last name that garners an automatic 45% of the voters.

So this is what all the waiting has been for? This essentially means "I'm stopping the surge." So, in reality, what has happened is that Bush threw in a bunch more troops to "stabilize" an area that hates us only to take those extra troops out next year because Petraus recommended it? Huh? This reeks of politics to me. Sorta like, "the elections are coming up next year, let's bring some troops home so it will look like we are capitulating to the electorate's wishes". The funny thing about this is that if Democrats say we should start bringing troops home, Republicans say we'll destabilize the area and allow terrorists to "win". Yet if a general says the same thing, and a Republican president brings troops home, it's suddenly "things are better in Iraq!". The hypocrisy is maddening :)

Californication is not getting any better. Disappointing since I thought the first episode showed a lot of promise. The biggest fault of the show is that the dialogue is just downright bad. It amounts to David Duchovny saying fuck a lot or "hip" sarcastic jokes like "You want to suck my cock?" and referring to the "Brown Eye" when discussing a woman who tried to put her finger in her husband's asshole. Seriously. The scripts are trying desperately to be edgy but are coming off as forced and contrived. Even the plotlines are stupid. For instance, Duchovny's agent is cheating on his wife with a Suicide Girl who likes to be degraded and dominated. The agent character isn't anybody you even care about or want to be watching, yet the show deems it necessary to throw in Suicide Girl plugs and a separate storyline for it. It's stupid. Even the main hook of the show (Duchovny accidentally sleeping with the 16 year old daughter of his ex-wife's fiancee) is going nowhere. I'd give the show so far a C- rating and I wouldn't be surprised if that grade goes lower in the coming weeks.

I just read a review of the latest Argento flick, and predictably, it isn't good. Personally, I've never been a fan of Argento and don't really understand the fanaticism he is shown by some horror fans. Still, I don't think he's some hack or anything. I thought Pelts, his latest Masters of Horror episode was pretty good.

I'm seeing 3:10 to Yuma tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. It's been a while since I've seen a good western. Ironically, it's a remake that is getting great reviews, although remake haters won't mention that fact :)

I was trying to come up with a good way to describe the difference between liking a movie and the movie being "good". This seems to be a concept that most people I've come across just can't understand. They just can't seem to separate the idea that though they really enjoy a movie, that that same movie can be utter garbage. In other words, there's a difference between liking a movie and recognizing it as a quality piece of cinema. I've got this analogy of Gold and Pyrite (Fool's Gold) that I'm working out in my head. I'll post it in an upcoming blog. Until then, time to rearrange some stuff in my living room

Colds

Ugh. I've got a cold. It's not one of those "I don't want to get off the couch because I'm miserable" kinds, but rather one that's just annoying, as in you've gotta constantly have a couple boxes of kleenex within reach and your head aches yet not enough to be an excuse to skip work or school. I'm in a weird middle state of sickness right now.

The Evil Empire known as Time Warner Cable is giving me a bunch of free channels and I happened upon the Florida State/UAB game this weekend. FSU looks bad. Really bad. Late in the 2nd quarter, UAB was ahead 17-3...at Doak Campbell stadium. They were losing at halftime and needed a late run to put the game away. This saturday, Florida State plays Colorado in Boulder.

I was wandering around Best Buy today and noticed they have a pre-order for Guitar Hero III, which will be coming to the Wii. I've never really played Guitar Hero. I've picked it up a couple times at Best Buy and tried going through a song only to put the guitar controller down immediately because I found it near impossible to play. I hear it's great fun if you get into it, though. Maybe when it comes to the Wii I'll give it a shot.

I coerced my girlfriend into watching Robocop with me this evening, fully expecting her to hate it. Much to my surprise, she thought it was good. There's hope for her yet :)

The Deadlantern myspace page has 35 subscribers to the blog already. Crazy.

And just like that....

...we're out of the top 25. Watching the FSU-Clemson game was excruciating. I didn't think Florida St. would win (brand new offense and coaches, opening with an ACC game on the road at the loudest stadium in the country, same shitty quarterback as last year) but I didn't expect them to look that bad either. Particularly the offense. I mean, there's no way they could suck worse than last year with Jeff Bowden right? Wrong. They had 1 first down the entire first half and had like 50 yards of total offense. This is going to be a long ass season....


I've sort of made it my mission to review every single horror film from the 1930's for Deadlantern. If my investigations are correct, there were 42 horror movies released in the 30's that have been available on vhs or DVD at one time or another. I have most of them on DVD, but I plan on trying (if possible) to track down the others. Most horror sites never focus on these early films, mostly because audiences today just don't have the patience to watch them. That's sad. I suppose if my reviews get one or two people to watch these movies when they otherwise wouldn't, then that is a success. Look for some Mummy reviews coming soon...

The Dead Lantern Football League starts tomorrow when Indy takes on New Orleans. I'm playing against Carlin's team this weekend, so I'll be keeping a close eye on how Marvin Harrison and Marques Colston do. I don't have any players on either the Colts or the Saints, but if Harrison and Colston put up a ton of TD's, I'm going to have some serious ground to make up come Sunday. Jeremy just dropped Jeff Garcia for the Denver defense. Sucks for me since my top WR, Lee Evans, is going against them this weekend. We'll see what happens. Expect trash talk and an update on Monday's Splattercast.

Go Noles!

College football season started this past weekend, but for me, it starts tonight. Florida St. vs. Clemson on national tv, labor day. I'm a huge Seminoles fan and long gone are the glory days of the 90's when we were winning 12 games a year, beating Nebraska, and winning national championships. I wouldn't be surprised if Duke kicked our ass this year. Anyways, since FSU has sucked the hard one the past few years, I rarely get a chance to watch their games. However, tonight I'll get to see just how much we've "improved" with Jimbo Fisher and all the other new coaches at the helm. For the record, I think FSU will struggle to have a winning record this year. The schedule is brutal and unless Drew Weatherford magically becomes the second coming of Chris Weinke, I don't see us winning more than 5 games. Still, I can't wait to watch it!

Also tomorrow night, one of my all-time favorite movies ever is on TCM, La Jetee. It's 28 minutes of pure awesomeness and brilliance. Terry Gilliam later remade it as the hack job 12 Monkeys. Everybody that reads this blog is here in Nebraska, so I'd recommend you guys check it out tonight. It's on at 7 p.m. on Turner Classic Movies.

Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween was utterly abysmal. I can't even fathom how somebody can defend it on the basis of quality. It's just unbelievably bad. Even I didn't think Zombie could make something that poor. On the brightside, it's now blatantly obvious who intelligible movie critics are. This is one of those movies that is so bad that anyone giving it a positive rating must not know jack shit about what a good movie is. It's become easy to see the critics in the pocket of the studios and any self-respecting horror fan that thinks this film is good is delusional an not to be trusted.